Awesome

Clearly, this guy had to piss like a race horse.

80s Video Friday: Thriller

Too soon?

Schwarzenegger Spells it Out with Veto

Cah-lee-for-knee-ah Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoed a bill this week. Ok, not really big news, Governors veto bills all the time. But wait, what's that? There's hidden profanity in it? See kids politics can be interesting! Check out the link below for the actual document.

I've also received word he's drafting a response to these allegeations:

"In response to these Wrongful allegations, I am appaled by the LibeL that has been hawKed and propagated so Intensely by the LiberaL media elite. You can be confident that Our team maintains the Utmost degree of professionalism and Respect for the political process. Californians Have to be assured I am Looking to both Democrats and Republicans to do what is best for our state and Entertaining speculation to the contrary is Nonsense."

[newser]
[California.Gov] - Actual veto .pdf

This Week in FAIL: Steve Phillips Edition

Really dude? C'mon. Can anybody even begin to rationalize how the hell this happened? This guy is on TV! He was once the manager of a professional baseball team (ok, well the Mets) in a major city! This is the best he can pull? Hope it was worth it, buddy.

That's almost as bad as the cheerleader that got irreversibly screwed up from the flu shot.



Side note: If that ever happened to me, I'd be screwed cause I hate running.

[Deadspin]

80s Video Friday: It's The End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

Its The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) (2003 Digital Remaster) - R.E.M.

Snow! On October 16th!

Baby Hippo Returns!

The unofficial mascot of the blog is BACK! Loogit that little guy.

[Boston.com]

What's up now Single Ladies Baby?

Another Reason I Eventually Want to Procreate

Because I want to dress them up in traumatic (but hilarious!) costumes like these every October 31st.

More links after the jump.

[Huffington Post]

European Farmers Protest High Milk Prices

Somewhere, Peter North is smiling.

[New York Times]

ONE hit wonder? NO!

Um, remember this guy?



Well, he's still alive! And he made an album! And has a MySpace page! May I reintroduce Ethan Chandler!

Ethan describes his music as "singer/songwriter pop driven by pure and honest emotion that is exceptionally unique." His profile page also says "Finding you must start today." So with that direction, I encourage all to find Ethan... today. http://www.myspace.com/ezchandler

Move Over Single Baby, Big Baby Here to Eat You

Talk about a short lived 15 minutes of fame. "It" baby of the week loses his fame to a 19.2 lb newborn. Glen Davis' reaction:

All the Single Babies

Get Your Inspiration On

SCREW THE SOVIETS! IT'S OUR TIME!

Analogy Wednesday

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

Taken verbatim from a 1999 Washington Post contest. Full list here

C'mon Dude. Really?

"According to The Journal, a 19-year-old Pennsylvania man was arraigned earlier this week on a charge of felony daytime robbery. How did police catch him? Simple: the burglar left a trail, by way of checking his Facebook account before leaving the house with two diamond rings and forgetting to log out.

Jonathan Parker remains in custody on $10,000 bail, facing a maximum 10 year prison sentence if convicted. A friend of the defendant said Parker had asked him for help breaking into the victim’s house the previous night, so things are not looking too good for the perp."

Really Jonathan? Couldn't wait til you got back from the pawn shop to see Kelly's birthday photos or check Julie's relationship status? Stupid people shouldn't commit crimes.

Set the DVR - Saget's Coming Back to AFV

Bob Saget will shift from the pot-loving, sex addict he portrays in real life... I mean Entourage, and go back to his Danny Tanner ways for a one-week engagement to celebrate the 20th anniversary of AFV.

Current host Tom Bergeron will co-host the episode with Saget. Taping will take place next month.

Nothing like some AFV to start the day. Pull out a tooth here

"Only I didn't say 'fudge'..."

See more funny videos and Funny Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Starts out a little slow, but gets good.

[Today's Big Thing]

Kanye West Disrupts Joint Session of Congress

Shortly thereafter, Obama was spotted backstage crying.

[Holy Taco]

80s Video Friday: Can't Fight This Feeling

I'm posting this to celebrate the collective man-gasm that will boil over this weekend as the first Sunday of the NFL season arrives. FUCK. YES. That kind of emotion is summed up best by REO Speedwagon.

During the opening vocals, doesn't Kevin Cronin look like Peggy Olsen from Mad Men?

80s Video Friday: New England, The Patriots and We

Preseason football is finally over (thank God and did you see Matthew Slater's arm last night? BLEGH!). To celebrate the return of the Pats, I dug up this little ditty.

A few questions and comments that tickled my brain-mush as I watched this:

The stuffed bear hostage cracks me up every time.

"The Patriots and we"?? Who wrote that line? It sounds like olde English. "The Patriots and me" didn't sound better?

I like how they get all of the lyrics out of the way upfront then just play the "NEW ENGLAND! THE PATRIOTS AND WE!" chorus with random shots of overexcited massholes for the remainder of the song.

That guy on the left at the 1:58 mark is waaaay to into this. Relax dude.

Why are all of the players wearing MTV hats?

Has Mike Lynch aged at all in the past 23 years?

If you watched that entire video, good luck getting that song out of your head for the next three days.

Happy Labor Day!

Friggin' Swedes

First IKEA, now this. Brilliant.

It's so spot on, it sounds exactly like any of the music you'd hear after finishing a game back in the day.

[CREATIVITY]

Teenager Cries Blood, Doctors Freak Out Accordingly

This kid has to grow up and become the villain in Casino Royale, right?

[CNN.com]

80s Video Friday: Rock You Like a Hurricane

I tried to find something titled "Rock You Like a Tropical Storm Named Danny" but no such luck.

Brett Favre is an Asshole.

As evidenced by an inebriated argument this past Friday, I can't stand this latest BrettFavre saga. He comes in figures he can bang out an entire playbook in three days then goes 1-4 for 4 yards in his Minnesota preseason debut. If I was a Vikings fan, I think I'd take a broken beer bottle to my wrist.

Remember this commercial? Even in a scripted shoot he still manages to throw behind his receiver while leading him directly into a puddle. Brett's smiling and having a great time while his high school buddy Jim just got a mouth full of Mississippi swamp water. God, what an asshole.

80s Video Friday: The Final Countdown

First Fantasy Football Draft of the season this weekend. Football season is almost here!

Barney Frank: Roastmaster

Amid the desire to have an actual discussion around public policy, it's great to see a politician fire back at these batshit-crazy protesters that don't bring anything meaningful to the discourse.

Massaging Your Pussy

No, not in that way. Perverts.

(Un)fortunately(?), this is an actual video on how to stroke your cat, dug up and edited by Everything is Terrible.

My favorite part is at 2:35 when the cat wakes up and looks directly at the camera as if to wonder if this documentary is real or imagined. Sadly "Champer-Camper", this is all too real.

Also, why is he the best cat in the United States? Am I missing something? Are there better Afghani cats out there somewhere?


[Warming Glow]
[Everything is Terrible]

Is This Real?

I keep going back and forth.

In any event, it's good to see Lenny Dykstra (1:15) found work.

80s Video Friday: Sledgehammer

Holy crap we're having a rough spell at the blog. But fear not! A video with a semen-based intro! And stop-motion animation!

80s Video Friday: The Wizard

Wizard Staffing in progress!!

(kind of a cop out, but I've been drinking)

Jaws vs. Mr. Ed - SPOILER ALERT: Jaws Wins.

Been a little slow at the blog lately. Our apologies to all three of our fans. Enjoy this in the meantime.

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Awesome.

80s Video Friday: I Wanna Go Back

Pretty much sums up my feelings after returning from kickass vacation to another Goddamn monsoon in Boston.

Throwback Tuesday

Now let me welcome everybody to the wild, wild west...

Killer Lampshade!

I think this is just weird enough to scare the shit out of me.

If LA Went This Nuts Over Michael Jackson's Funeral, Imagine What Pennsylvania Will Do for Billy Mays'

Oh, apparently not that much. Like a funeral should be.

[TMZ]

Throwback Tuesday

heeeeere we go...

Hockey Team Photo FAIL

[Holy Taco]

Throwback Tuesday

girls, girls, girls, girls...

Russia's Gazprom Signs Deal with Nigerian NNPC, Unfortunate Naming Ensues

Russia's energy giant Gazprom has signed a $2.5bn (£1.53bn) deal with Nigeria's state operated NNPC, to invest in a new joint venture. The new firm, to be called Nigaz, is set to build refineries, pipelines and gas power stations in Nigeria.

Seriously?

Check out some other funny international branding fails here.

[Brand Republic]

Billy Mays: 1958 - 2009

Another one!?! Enough already!

[WBZ Radio]

80s Video Friday: Thriller

It's only appropriate to dedicate this week's 80s Video Friday to The Greatest Music Video Ever Made. And let's face it, no music video will top this, ever. It was groundbreaking when it came out and it also features choreographed zombies. Do you know how hard it is to get zombies to do anything else besides aimlessly meander around in search of brains?

Michael Jackson: 1958 - 2009

TMZ is reporting pop icon Michael Jackson has died from cardiac arrest.

Developing....

UPDATE: Yep. Sonofabitch. Him and Farrah. What a shitty Thursday.

[TMZ]

Headline + Picture = Ridiculous

I won't give it away.

Just click through and find out on your own.

[Time.com]

Insane.

Shaq wants to play this dude in horse for $1,000. He might as well write him a check now.

Air France Flight 447 or Oceanic Flight 815?

Does this screenshot look familiar? Apparently not to a Bolivian TV station or Dutch radio station who thought these pics from ABC's LOST were actual pictures from the Air France Flight 447 tragedy earlier this month. C'mon guys.



[Gawker]

Throwback Tuesday (on Wednesday)

Here comes the hotstepper...

We Talkin' About Practice?

And just when I thought this couldn't get any better, I made it to the 3:18 mark.

This could easily crack the iTunes top 10.

[Deadspin]

Best Detention Slip Ever

WTF: Whale Man

I think this is funny...but I'm not sure.

80s Video Friday: In the Air Tonight

In honor of The Hangover (if you haven’t seen that movie yet, go this weekend, seriously), I’d like to dedicate this week’s 80s Video Friday to a song featured in the movie, Phil Collins’ In the Air Tonight.



What’s great about this song is how closely it’s tied to the 80’s pastel-laden hit series Miami Vice. The song was originally used for the pilot episode, one of the first instances a hit song was featured in a network television series. After watching that, I totally want to rent a black Ferrari and drive around South Beach at 4:00am (shotgun-toting sidekick optional).



And while we’re on the topic of Miami Vice, how disappointing was the recent remake a few years ago? From the trailer alone, it seemed like it would be a killer movie but then when you actually sat down and watched it? Ugh. “Ok, Michael Mann, I get it, Miami has some nice skylines. Please let’s get on with the movie already.” No lie, I fell asleep twice (twice!) during that goddamn movie.

Greg Brady is Gangsta

...and His Dance Moves Still Rock

This Kid is Still Awesome

Long Island Secession - For or Against?

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Long Island Wants to Secede
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Jason Jones in Iran

After thinking about it, I don't know if I'm in favor or against this movement. It's such a cultural centerpiece to the greater New York metropolitan area, it really deserves to be its own state.

Can it take New Jersey while it's at it? Combined they could create a land where tanning parlors and car stereo dealers stretch as far as the eye can see. They'd have to incorporate a tribal tattoo somewhere on their state flag, right?

We know Revere would start to thin out; it'd be like douchebag manifest destiny.

[Daily Show]
[Barstool Sports]

The Iron Shiek Hates Everybody

This is an old interview, but that doesn't mean its not 5:43 of pure gold.

"You no-good mwother-fuhker piece of shit!"

Throwback Tuesday

Can you dig it? ... Can y'all dig it?

Tag Team - Whoomp There It Is
by louis-philippe93

Carrots Anyone?

Who wants to ride on the carrot highway with me?





-everythingisterrible

80s Video Friday: High Enough

High Enough - Damn Yankees

Now, I don't have any hard evidence, but I wouldn't be surprised if Ted Nugent has bow-hunted actual humans before. Kinda like the movie Hard Target.

3DWaB PSA: Digital TV Conversion

A friendly reminder from 3DWaB that all TVs need to now be run from a digital signal. If you're still using analog, follow this simple video for help.

Idiots Discover Yahoo! Answers, Hilarity Ensues

This is a mix of hilarious to just downright disturbing.

The 20 Most Inappropriately Hilarious Yahoo! Answers Questions

Thanks to Julianelle

[nextround]

Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals for America After Visiting Denny's

Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's

I agree. Let's manage expectations a bit.

[The Onion]

Throwback Tuesday

this ain't no fuckin motion picture...

Tweeting Too Hard

Q: Do you hate Twitter?
Q: Do you hate people that can't live without Twitter?
Q: Do you hate flat-out douchebags?

A: You'll love this.

http://tweetingtoohard.com/

Thanks to Justin

David Carradine: 1936 - 2009

Sad news to hear the passing of David Carradine who absolutely stole the show in Kill Bill Vol. 2. To pay homage to the late Kung Fu star, here's a video of David Carradine playing with a garden hose.

My Birthday is in April...

Oak via Thrillist Boston

PS3 Motion Controler vs. Microsoft's Project Natal

Gotta give the edge here to PS3 on the grounds that it was live-action use.

Wii is totally screwed either way.

[Engadget]
[Joystiq]

Blonde Bombshell Party! Who Wants Fake Tits?

In case you can't read it above "The hottest blonde in the audience wins free breast implants from Dr. Russo"

They are not even trying to hide the sleaze factor here. I'm fielding a few bets: 1)Over/under on the guy/girl ratio? 2) Winner ends up doing porn within the next 3 years.

The 13,153,706th Most Popular Website in the World Celebrates its 300th Post!!!

Throwback Tuesday

somethin' to roll to, somethin' to stroll to...

RunPee.com = Genius

Perfectly time your next movie theater bathroom run. This is something that actually makes sense to have on your phone.

And the site has a sense of humor. For the Hannah Montana movie: "Go home right after the previews and pee for as long as you please in the comfort of your own home. You wont miss anything."

Another "I should have thought of that" ideas...

80s Video Friday: Separate Ways

Journey - Separate Ways

Did somebody mention imaginary instruments?

It's official. I don't "get" teenagers.

American teenagers sent and received an average of 2,272 text messages per month in the fourth quarter of 2008, according to the Nielsen Company — almost 80 messages a day, more than double the average of a year earlier.

Not only is my mind blown, but I think my reaction to this news means i'm officially old. I have gotta believe that teenage girls skew this number higher, so what are they sending? 3500 a month?

Scripps Spelling Bee Champion Probably Able to Spell "Uncomfortable" Too

Scombridae? Scombridae? Scombridae??

2009 Scripps National Spelling Bee - Thursday 10:00am on ESPN2. Set your DVR.

Throwback Tuesday

Sooo, sooooo, sooooooo.......

80s Video Friday: Goodnight Saigon

Goodnight Saigon - Billy Joel

With Memorial Day on Monday, this song just felt right. Thanks to all the troops.

(I also feel like I'd be doing an incredible disservice if I didn't post this in conjunction with Will Ferrell's stirring rendition last week on SNL. Great episode across the board, by the way.)

Throwback Tuesday

Will everybody please just let the boys be boys? Thank you.

Onyx - Slam
by bullback

Imagine sitting down to your morning coffee, turning on your computer and enjoying the morning newspaper...

When it all started to go downhill for the newspaper industry. The first online news... nearly 30 years ago.

Throwback Tuesday

Let me conversate, better yet regulate...

This dj Warren G
by Ronaldo33310

Hippo Makes Run at Cute Baby Animal Crown

Watch out Koalas - this Hippo means business.




Also, watch out baby hippo. You're destined to have a huge ass.

80s Video Friday: Treat Your Mother Right

In honor of all the mothers out there this weekend.

Archdiocese Youth Commission Logo FAIL

On some occasions, logos are more than marks of failure or malfeasance; sometimes they unintentionally illustrate the foibles or folly of a company or institution all too vividly. Take the Archdiocesan Youth Commission logo, designed three decades before the sex abuse scandal broke out in the Catholic Church. The unfortunate pictorial relationship between the priest and the child, given our collective awareness in 2009, suggests a much too ironic interpretation. It’s a challenge to see what this positive/negative image once suggested, a guardian protecting the innocent, since the benevolence of its subject matter is no longer black and white. When a good design signifies bad deeds, the result is, well, a really unfortunate logo.

Jesus.


[AIGA]

Throwback Tuesday

Alickyboomboomdown...

Moments Later, This Man Went Completely Blind

/slow clap

(Click the image for a larger view)

[Holy Taco]

Messing with your Mind

Look at this picture. Now, move about 15 feet away from your computer. Bam!

Do you have Swine Flu?

http://doihavetheswineflu.com/

Meet Rudy - The Best Car Saleman EVER

How could you NOT buy a car from this dude?

80s Video Friday: No Easy Way Out

Robert Tepper - No Easy Way Out -

The parallels between Rocky and the Celtics are pretty hard to ignore.

The champion with one last thing to prove against a young upstart. Having already suffered two crippling losses (Mick = KG, Appolo = Powe), the champion is looking deep inside to pull off one last big win (which actually won't be the last big win since there are still 2 more sequels and 3 more playoff rounds, but whatever). It's reached a critical mass and all that's left is the main event (just as soon as he comes back from a deeply reflective drive in a 1980's Lamborghini and shifting though the gears 17 times).

Side note: Can you believe that there isn't an official music video for Paul Engemann's Push It To the Limit from Scarface or Joe Espisito's You're The Best Around from Karate Kid?? Bullshit.

Cleveland Rocks!

So true.

Are those cantaloupes in your arms, or are you just happy to see me?

{Insert vomit noise}

I guess this guy is famous and has a few documentaries made about him, etc... I just discovered him today. And i'm pretty sure his arm is bigger than Lindsay Lohan. Gross.

Maybe He Just Really Likes Pork...

Thanks to erika

This never gets old...

Throwback Tuesday

You want it, baby, you got it.

The Swine Flu Was So 1976

Looks like we've been here before with this swine flu business.

Anybody else expect to see a Jason Voorhees cameo in these spots?

Thanks to Kerry.

[AdFreak]

Is AIG run by Asian-Americans?

Ok lady, no need for slurs here. Let's keep it classy.

Click the image for full-size.

[Yahoo]

80s Video Friday: Magic

The Cars - Magic - ASTRO-ZOMBIE

To celebrate the summer weather that's about to hit the Hub, I figured I'd go with this little nugget.

Interesting creative direction here as The Cars' frontman, the unfortunate-looking Rick Ocasek, has a weird Jesus thing going on. I don't think Jesus ever rocked a blazer like that though.

Scoreboard
Ocasek: 1
Jesus: 0

Nationals FAIL

Somebody had to have been fired over this.

[Fan IQ]

Best Action Movie of 2010: The Expendables

I'm calling it now.

It seems like there haven't been too many great action flicks in a while. Hollywood, desperate to get more cash at the box office, has lowered the bar on action movies from R to PG-13 to attract more viewers. In doing so, a substantially amount of ass has remained unkicked. Enter The Expendables.

The movie is based around a group of mercenaries who are assembled to overthrow a South American dictator. Listen to this cast:

Sylvester Stallone - Likely juiced up beyond recognition (see above).

Arnold Schwarzenegger - I hope he has a big part in this. But if he does, then who's running California?

Mickey Rourke - Did you see him The Wrestler??

Jason Statham - I don't know what it is but I can't seem to like this guy. But having said that, he might bring it if surrounded by a killer cast in a movie that he doesn't need to carry himself. Also plays a character named "Lee Christmas". Any relation to Lloyd?

Jet Li - So much for all that talk about retirement. This dude was born to kick people in the face.

Randy Couture - Maybe beating the shit out of people in real life got boring?

Dolph Lundgren - Apparently picked up the role when Van Damme turned it down because he was really focused on "acting". Seriously.

Eric Roberts - You can feel free to make your own joke here.

Rumor has it that they also tried to get Wesley Snipes but he couldn't leave the country to film due to his tax problems. They're also talking with Ben Kingsley and Forest Whitaker.

Due out April 23, 2010.

[EW.com]

Bar Enables Patrons to Get Drunk by Simply Breathing

Someone is going to win a Nobel Prize over this.

The "Alcoholic Architecture" is a pop-up bar outfitted with a misting system that allows you to breathe in gin. Please go back and read that last line again. You breathe in gin.

Hell, I'm breathing right now. I could be getting hammered! I'd call that a mist opportunity reason to go drinking after work today.

Thanks to Shannon

[Wired UK]

Ridiculous Moments in Movie History: Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise

I was flipping through the channels late last night and came across this classic. I caught the movie about halfway through. At a national greek conference in Ft. Lauderdale the hated Alpha Beta fraternity had introduced a ballot question that would establish a mandatory fitness requirement, a requirement that Lambda Lambda Lambda would surely fail.

But don't worry, the nerds had a plan.

They cleverly rigged the neon sign of the "HOTEL CORRAL ESSEX" to now read "HOT ORAL SEX". Naturally, a traffic jam occurs and pandemonium ensues as all walks of life flock in to get in on the action. However when everybody shows up the nerds put on an electronic/rap/rock concert to encourage people to vote, "no on 15!". Everyone is easily won over, and balloons are released. The nerds have done the impossible.

Wait, what?

Had legions of horny men showed up then been serenaded by a gaggle of men (NERDS mind you!), that hotel would have been burned to the fucking ground.

This scene was only slightly more ridiculous than the ending where the nerds, stranded on a desert island, discover unused military equipment and storm the hotel in Ft. Lauderdale where the greek council is voting yet again bar the "Tri-Lambs" from membership. After millions of dollars of property damage, vundernerd Lewis Skolnick punches out the Alpha Beta president and Ogre to defects to Lambda Lambda Lambda. The once enviable collective IQ of the Tri-Lamb fraternity plummets considerably.

Throwback Tuesday

The game in this video is not nearly as exciting as last night's Celtics' game, but nonetheless, it is still Throwback Tuesday...

80s Video Friday: I Ran

I Ran (so far away) - Flock Of Seagulls - Flock Of Seagulls

Ok, a little late on this one. Dedicated to all the runners on Monday who will be suffering from bleeding nipples, uncontrollable bowel movements and other wacky side effects from running 26.2 miles.

Carl Pavano Sucks, and Everybody Knows It

At the Yankees' opening day in their new stadium, closed-caption was provided on the jumbotron, so that even the hearing-impaired could following along. See below...


- Good looks Luke

Time.com Seriously Reconsidering Decision to Hire Toddlers to Help Write Online Content

Actual screenshot taken from Time.com website today. Note the link at the bottom.

[Time.com]

Breaking News: Ainge Suffers Heart Attack

On the same day it's announced that Kevin Garnett will miss the playoffs, Celtics GM Danny Ainge suffers a heart attack. Wow. It sounds like a minor one so hopefully he will be ok. Here's to a speedy recovery.

[Boston.com]

LOST Conspiracy Theory Thursday

This LCTT is brought to you by Overheard in New York

That Jerk Never Returns My Calls

Girl #1: This whole Ben situation is really starting to piss me off.
Girl #2: I know! I just don't know what his deal is.
Girl #1: He called me like twelve times yesterday.
Girl #2 (stopping in the middle of Penn Station): He called you? (pauses for a moment) Oh, you mean Ben your boyfriend, don't you?
Girl #1: As opposed to?
Girl #2: Ben from Lost.
Girl #1: Don't talk to me for an hour, please.

Throwback Tuesday

Can we kick it? No. Can we rock? Absolutely...




And since I missed last week...

Isn't That How Domino's Makes All of Their Food?

I don't know what the big fuss is all about, isn't that just standard operating procedure? Do people really order Domino's sober? In college it was the only place that stayed open until 4:00am. It was the only option by attrition.

[Ad Age]