LOST Conspiracy Theory Friday

Been a little crazy here at work lately. Here's My Buddy Joe with this week's LOST recap:

This week's episode, "Namaste", does indeed pick up where "LaFleur" left off. Or slightly before. Or after. Depending on how you perceive "now" to be in the LOST timeline. We're back flying the friendly skies with Frank Lapidus and Ajira Air (Motto: "No weird disappearances by unexplained flashes since 2007!") when BAM! There’s a flash and Flight 316 is going down. Lapidus channels his inner Sully (see, I’m not always a smart-ass, sometimes I’m right) and makes one hell of a landing. (Except for getting his co-pilot speared through the chest. Oops.) Quick inventory of first class reveals that Sayid is gone, but Sun and Ben are still there. (Answers part of Question 6 from yesterday… good start…)

Flash back to 30 years ago… Wait a dern-tootin’ minute! (One of the great parts of living in the South is that you actually hear phrases like “dern-tootin’” and “a-fixin’” in regular vernacular.) I was just getting used to 3 years ago. Ok, so here’s a quick timeline recap… Oceanic 815 crashed in 2004… Locke turned the wheel and made it 1974… Three real-time years passed… The year in the real world is 2007… The year on the island is 1977. Got it? Good.

Sawyer, Jin, Jack, Kate, and Hurley have their awkward little reunion, where we learn 2 important facts: Jin’s English is 1000% better (Answer to Question 5! I am on a roll!) and its 1977 and everyone is in the Dharma Initiative. Sawyer’s plan is to blend the Big Three in with the rest of the new Dharma recruits, and have Juliet forge some paperwork. Jin takes off for the Flame Station to find the plane.

Back at the plane crash, Lapidus tries to BS everyone into thinking help is coming, but Cesar is having none of it. Ben uses Cesar’s grandstanding as an opportunity to slip away unnoticed, and Sun clumsily follows. Ben has figured out that they are on the wrong island, and knows where there is a boat to take them back to “our island”.

We’re in 1977 again, and Juliet goes to check on Amy and the baby. Amy still hasn’t questioned the fact that a mechanic delivered her baby (Question 1!!), who is named Ethan. Now, before you get your panties in a bunch, Horace’s last name is Goodspeed. Ethan’s last name was Rom. Ben is going to kill the entire Dharma initiative, so why would he spare the life of a kid?

While Jin is in the Flame, outside motion sensors go off. Hostile alert! Oh, no, its just Sayid, who Jin must pretend is a Hostile to keep the other guy from shooting him. Sayid gets locked up in the Flame to wait for LaFleur.

Ben and Sun reach the hidden boats, and, because they are on the island, Ben’s arm is miraculously healed. He’s going to row across the channel to the main island. Lapidus pops out from the jungle and implores Sun not to go with Ben. Claims Ben is some sort of bad dude, wherever he got that crazy notion from. Sun says she has no choice, and then bitch-slaps Ben with an oar. (Lesson: Don’t mess with Sun.)

Back in ’77, Pierre Chang (aka Dr. Marvin Candle) informs Jack that he will be a janitor. (Think Sawyer is screwing with him? Or is Juliet??) Juliet and Kate have a mini catfight staredown (bring on the love trapezoid!). Sawyer heads to the Flame to retrieve Sayid and take him to Dharma Gitmo.

Ok, the episode has been pretty good so far, with several of my burning questions answered, but now it gets f-ing mindblowing (Question 9!!)… Sun and Lapidus arrive at the main island to what looks like a deserted Dharma colony. But then, a solitary light comes on in the scary looking building, and the scary looking door creeps open. If this was Saw IV, Sun’s face would now melt and Lapidus would have his fingers cut off. But since its LOST, CHRISTIAN F-ING SHEPARD opens the door!!!! He shows Sun a picture of Jin in 1977 and says that she has a long journey ahead…

Jack knocks on Sawyer’s door looking for some answers, only to be met by Juliet (Question #2!!). Sawyer is inside, reading a book and thinking about how to make this situation work. Jack makes a snarky remark about the reading, to which Sawyer responds that “Winston Churchill read a book every night, even during The Blitz… helps me think… you reacted, Jack, you didn’t think… and a lot of people ended up dead.” Jack takes his verbal ass-whupping, tucks his tail between his legs and leaves. Sawyer, after making sure the door didn’t hit Jack’s ass on the way out, catches Kate outside her new digs. Definitely a love rhombus brewing.

Final scene: A kid carrying a brown-bag sandwich enters Dharma Gitmo to feed Sayid. It’s little Ben!!! Is this why elder Ben is stuck in 2007? But then why is Sun? How come Sayid got separated from the Big Three? Where is Faraday and why doesn’t anyone seem to care that he’s not there? What happened to Charles Widmore and his Others in the last 20 years? What is going to happen to the Ajira survivors? Does this whole ridiculous scenario repeat itself with new people every couple years?