Open Apology to the Cab Driver for Last Night...

Sorry. I know that one word doesn't quite make up for the fact that you were probably scrubbing your cab clean for 4 hours this morning.

Perhaps you can take some solace in the fact that while the mozzarella and lobster ravioli was great on the way down, it wasn't nearly as enjoyable coming back up at 120 mph, around 1:00am. I also yacked a little this morning during an overzealous teeth brushing session.

I hope we tipped you well. Wait, did we even pay? Or did you just throw us the fuck out in the middle of the street? I cannot quite recall. However, in all fairness, I also question your motive of picking up a patron who was earlier attempting to use his balls to hail a cab. That little tidbit I found out this morning. Surely, my mother would be proud.

My eyes are bloodshot, my head is cloudy, yet somehow I am still at work today. 5:30 can't come sooner.