Thursday, March 12, 2009

Woman Fakes Pregnancy with Blocks of Cheddar


In what may be the strangest story posted on the blog yet, a "pregnant woman" rushed to the hospital last month to give birth shocked doctors and staff when it was revealed that what she had passed off as a fetus for months was in fact a large block of cheese.

The woman, whom hospital administrators have refused to identify due to confidentiality rules, has a history of mental illness, according to medical records obtained from people close to the situation. Not only has she been detained in the past for public disturbances, but she has been on significant doses of anti-depressant and anti-psychotic medications for many years.

One attending doctor, speaking on the condition that they remain anonymous, remarked that it is not uncommon for some individuals to fake medical conditions in order to gain attention and financial support. Using cheese to fake a pregnancy, however, seems to be unprecedented, even among the mentally ill.

“Beyond weird,” remarked the doctor. “I don’t know how one would do it, but it must take an unwordly level of self deception to even conceive of something like this.”

What’s more, the woman had apparently registered herself at several stores for an upcoming baby shower and had been regularly consulting an obstetrician by phone.

With so much contact with others, it is unclear how she was able to keep from revealing herself for so long. According to sources familiar with the matter, all of her neighbors believed her to be pregnant, and had helped her pay her rent and shop for baby clothes and furniture.

Around 4 am on Thursday, after the woman was heard complaining loudly of severe pains outside an apartment building. Neighbors, assuming that she was in labor, took her to an emergency room where doctors uncovered a sodden and moldy mass of what they later determined to be several bricks of cheddar cheese bound together with twine.

Residents of the apartment building refused to comment, and the woman has been detained pending further psychiatric evaluation.

Shout out to ALL DAY for the lead. Article posted from MuckFlash.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

3DWaB Schwag Bag: $25 Robot USB Drive


Above: Robot USB Drive assumes the "fellatio eminent" pose.

[via Pocket-Lint]

Monday, March 9, 2009

UPDATE: M.I.A. Doesn't Care About The Other Dude

From M.I.A.'s myspace (a better source doesn't exist)

"BABY NAME!
MY BABY IS NOT CALLED ICKITT, PICKIT OR LICKIT THANK YOU VERY MUCH TO ALL THE HOLLYWOOD PRESS. HES A BABY , HE DONT NEED PRESS!

I DIDNT RELEASE THE BABY NAME BECAUSE I DIDNT THINK IT WAS NEWS!!!!

BUT I WILL BE BACK WITH SOMETHING NEWS WORTHY SOON , TILL THEN GO PICK ON APPLE, SATCHEL AND MOON UNIT.

LOTS OF LOVE STICKIT!!"

And on a personal note, I kind of dug the fact that she performed 10 months pregnant at the Grammy's. That kid can legitimately claim during recess at preschool that he performed with Kanye and Jay-Z.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Things Really Aren't THAT Bad

I got this video forwarded to me and this guy really does a fantastic job of putting "life" as we know it in perspective. And contrary to what everyone may think, things really don't suck as much as everyone thinks...




Props to Al Bacon for sending this video.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

"Hmmm, I think I need something in a tri-fold....AAAAHHH!!!!!"


A shopper at a Wal-Mart in Falmouth made a mysterious find on the shelves Saturday night: a wallet with a collection of human teeth in it, police said.

The man was shopping at the Teaticket Highway store just after 9:30 p.m. when he found the 10 teeth in a zippered compartment of a wallet, said Kimberly Pacheco, a clerk at the Falmouth Police Department. The teeth were determined to be from an adult; one of them had a filling, police said.

Thank God I shop at Target.

[Boston.com]

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Fake Religion Tuesday - Pastafarianism


So I guess this kind of blew up in 2007, but I'm just stumbling across this gem of a fake religion now.

Pastafarians follow the Flying Spaghetti Monster (pictured), and believe that the world was created by the touch of his noodly appendage. Furthermore, they acknowledge pirates as being 'absolute divine beings', and stress that the worldwide decline in the number of pirates has directly led to global warming. Devout followers are supposed to dress up like pirates all the time.

Pastafarianism was made up by an angry man named Bobby Henderson who thought it was ridiculous to teach Intelligent Design (i.e., God made us), so he created this batshit religion and told the Kansas School Board they had to teach it too. His open letter to the school

Since then, the Flying Spaghetti Monster has gained countless followers worldwide, although there are those who remain Spagnostic.

People are crazy. And, People love tattoos:




Monday, March 2, 2009

I realize the blog is oversaturated with baby animals...


But, I had to look more into baby pandas. I mean, they're everything I would never expect in a Panda.

Some research led me to learn that a newborn giant panda is about as big as a stick of butter and lacks the familiar black-and-white markings for its first month or so of life. They also appear to be the creepiest looking things I have ever seen.