Kissin' Cousins

Scientists have recently made an argument to overturn anti-incest laws due to the possibility that we all have really hot cousins incest may not be as detrimental to the child as we had originally once thought. Even Einstein and Darwin married their cousins. Um, yeah.

Via Scientific American

Parents go nuts to buy their daughters a toy that craps itself

Am I missing something here? One of the "hottest" toys this holiday season is the reincarnation of a 1970's doll that leaks!? I lived with a pug for a year that had some anal leaking problems, and I'll tell you - it's no fun game of dress up and pretend.

You can't make this shit up (although I guess she can...): "Be careful, just like real life, sometimes she can hold it until she gets to the 'potty' and sometimes she can't!" A warning on the back of the box even reads: "May stain some surfaces."


Live potty demo here

Observations from attending back-to-back sporting events yesterday

• As fun as snow-loaded games are to attend, they can be equally as miserable. Tossing snow into the air like a 5 year old, in unison with 55,000 other people when your team scores a TD is truly an unreal feeling; The polar opposite of which is walking a mile and a half back to the car, soaking wet, with every car on Route 1 splashing you as they drive by.

• I need to invest in a pair of snowpants.

• Rajon Rondo is gaining confidence with every game. This does not bode well for the rest of the league. There was a stretch where he just carved up the Knicks, driving to the basket and seemingly daring someone to stop him.

• Brian Scalabrine is just terrible. Spare me the lines about him doing to "little things" or being such a good team player. This all went out the window when he managed to fall flat on his ass and still manage to draw a foul. Furthermore, I could tell from the 300's KG was bullshit to check back into the game becuase Veal fouled out.

• The Celtics Dancers (if you would like to call them that) are just another reason why I'm horrified to have a daughter. And if I do, may the only chance she sets foot on a professional basketball court is as a backcourt starter for the relaunch of the WNBA, circa 2040.

• If I wasn't from Boston, I'd probably hate us too.

Matzo Ball - 12/24 at Estate!!!!!

"Tired of the same dull and boring Christmas Eve?" Come party it up with the Jews at the 22nd annual Matzo Ball.


So, guilty admission: I attended this freshman year of college, got hammered, and made out with some girl whose name I did not know. Disappointingly, no soup was served.

Open Apology to the Cab Driver for Last Night...

Sorry. I know that one word doesn't quite make up for the fact that you were probably scrubbing your cab clean for 4 hours this morning.

Perhaps you can take some solace in the fact that while the mozzarella and lobster ravioli was great on the way down, it wasn't nearly as enjoyable coming back up at 120 mph, around 1:00am. I also yacked a little this morning during an overzealous teeth brushing session.

I hope we tipped you well. Wait, did we even pay? Or did you just throw us the fuck out in the middle of the street? I cannot quite recall. However, in all fairness, I also question your motive of picking up a patron who was earlier attempting to use his balls to hail a cab. That little tidbit I found out this morning. Surely, my mother would be proud.

My eyes are bloodshot, my head is cloudy, yet somehow I am still at work today. 5:30 can't come sooner.

Rare Air?

Ok, it's about time I posted this. As many of you know, I am a huge dork. However, I'm also a huge dork that loves gambling. Enter Fantasy Football.

Just about every season is the same. Everyone has a great draft, all the teams are optimistic, everyone has dreams of make-believe football glory. But as the season lingers on, hopes begin to fade, star players lose their shimmer, Terrell Owens goes batshit crazy. It happens.

This year has been a little different. I barely made the playoffs in both leagues (#3 out of 4 and #7 out of 8). I had no expectation of winning anything whatsoever. Then inexplicably, I won the 3 playoff games thus far and I'm in the fantasy championship in BOTH leagues. Has this ever happened to anyone else, going 2 for 2 in both leagues, not to mention back-to-back in one of them? I don't count it if you're in 9 leagues and you win two (get a job, buddy).

Two final games this weekend. Here goes nothing.

This guy is an idiot

What part of "wintry mix" didn't this guy understand?