Three Dudes Write a Blog

What the eff is a Slow Loris?

2010-07-26T16:31:00.001-04:00

And where do I get one?

Pink Dolphins On Brink of Extinction Because of "Fishing"

2010-07-11T23:18:00.004-04:00

AP - RIO DE JANEIRO – The bright pink color gives them a striking appearance in the muddy jungle waters. That Amazon river dolphins are also gentle and curious makes them easy targets for nets and harpoons as they swim fearlessly up to fishing boats.

Now, their carcasses are showing up in record numbers on riverbanks, their flesh torn away for fishing bait, causing researchers to warn of a growing threat to a species that has already disappeared in other parts of the world.

"The population of the river dolphins will collapse if these fishermen are not stopped from killing them," said Vera da Silva, the top aquatic mammals expert at the government's Institute of Amazonian Research. "We've been studying an area of 11,000 hectares (27,000 acres) for 17 years, and of late the population is dropping 7 percent each year."

Um, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that overfishing, climate change or whatever other bullshit they're trying to sell here has nothing to do with these things dying off. These things are ugly as fucking sin. Jesus Christ pink dolphin, have a little self-respect. Black teeth? Black fucking teeth? You've got to be kidding me! And what's up with your post-wisdom-teeth-surgery-looking cheeks? Those fishermen are doing you a favor offing you like they're doing.

Us humans like our dolphins gray, cute, and willing to do awesome fucking shit for sardines. Like jump through hoops or translate my Spanish homework.

Nice try pink dolphins, but I think I'll take my dolphins in the regular, gray, cute, fucking awesome-looking Seaworld variety like this winner down here:

That dolphin's name is probably something knock-your-fucking-dick-off awesome too. Like Swifty, or Jeff. Go fuck yourself pink dolphin, and so help my, If I find out my Starkist tuna's got ugly pink dolphin in it, I will hit a child.

The Triumphant Return of 3DWAB!

2010-04-01T13:02:00.002-04:00

That's right! After a meeting of the minds, we've decided to resurrect the blog!

Stay tuned for more details!

Awesome

2009-12-07T16:38:00.002-05:00

Clearly, this guy had to piss like a race horse.

80s Video Friday: Thriller

2009-10-30T15:06:00.002-04:00

Too soon?

Schwarzenegger Spells it Out with Veto

2009-10-28T09:58:00.004-04:00

Cah-lee-for-knee-ah Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoed a bill this week. Ok, not really big news, Governors veto bills all the time. But wait, what's that? There's hidden profanity in it? See kids politics can be interesting! Check out the link below for the actual document.

I've also received word he's drafting a response to these allegeations:

"In response to these Wrongful allegations, I am appaled by the LibeL that has been hawKed and propagated so Intensely by the LiberaL media elite. You can be confident that Our team maintains the Utmost degree of professionalism and Respect for the political process. Californians Have to be assured I am Looking to both Democrats and Republicans to do what is best for our state and Entertaining speculation to the contrary is Nonsense."

[newser]
[California.Gov] - Actual veto .pdf

This Week in FAIL: Steve Phillips Edition

2009-10-21T14:36:00.007-04:00

Really dude? C'mon. Can anybody even begin to rationalize how the hell this happened? This guy is on TV! He was once the manager of a professional baseball team (ok, well the Mets) in a major city! This is the best he can pull? Hope it was worth it, buddy.

That's almost as bad as the cheerleader that got irreversibly screwed up from the flu shot.

Side note: If that ever happened to me, I'd be screwed cause I hate running.

[Deadspin]

80s Video Friday: It's The End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

2009-10-16T17:14:00.003-04:00

Its The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) (2003 Digital Remaster) - R.E.M.

Snow! On October 16th!

Baby Hippo Returns!

2009-10-16T17:12:00.002-04:00

The unofficial mascot of the blog is BACK! Loogit that little guy.

[Boston.com]

What's up now Single Ladies Baby?

2009-10-15T11:41:00.001-04:00

Another Reason I Eventually Want to Procreate

2009-10-12T16:44:00.006-04:00

Because I want to dress them up in traumatic (but hilarious!) costumes like these every October 31st.

More links after the jump.

[Huffington Post]

European Farmers Protest High Milk Prices

2009-10-05T17:18:00.005-04:00

Somewhere, Peter North is smiling.

[New York Times]

ONE hit wonder? NO!

2009-09-27T21:57:00.004-04:00

Um, remember this guy?

Well, he's still alive! And he made an album! And has a MySpace page! May I reintroduce Ethan Chandler!

Ethan describes his music as "singer/songwriter pop driven by pure and honest emotion that is exceptionally unique." His profile page also says "Finding you must start today." So with that direction, I encourage all to find Ethan... today. http://www.myspace.com/ezchandler

Move Over Single Baby, Big Baby Here to Eat You

2009-09-25T13:52:00.004-04:00

Talk about a short lived 15 minutes of fame. "It" baby of the week loses his fame to a 19.2 lb newborn. Glen Davis' reaction:

All the Single Babies

2009-09-24T13:00:00.001-04:00

Get Your Inspiration On

2009-09-24T12:43:00.001-04:00

SCREW THE SOVIETS! IT'S OUR TIME!

Analogy Wednesday

2009-09-23T23:14:00.001-04:00

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

Taken verbatim from a 1999 Washington Post contest. Full list here

C'mon Dude. Really?

2009-09-22T15:30:00.003-04:00

"According to The Journal, a 19-year-old Pennsylvania man was arraigned earlier this week on a charge of felony daytime robbery. How did police catch him? Simple: the burglar left a trail, by way of checking his Facebook account before leaving the house with two diamond rings and forgetting to log out.

Jonathan Parker remains in custody on $10,000 bail, facing a maximum 10 year prison sentence if convicted. A friend of the defendant said Parker had asked him for help breaking into the victim’s house the previous night, so things are not looking too good for the perp."

Really Jonathan? Couldn't wait til you got back from the pawn shop to see Kelly's birthday photos or check Julie's relationship status? Stupid people shouldn't commit crimes.

Set the DVR - Saget's Coming Back to AFV

2009-09-22T10:20:00.003-04:00

Bob Saget will shift from the pot-loving, sex addict he portrays in real life... I mean Entourage, and go back to his Danny Tanner ways for a one-week engagement to celebrate the 20th anniversary of AFV.

Current host Tom Bergeron will co-host the episode with Saget. Taping will take place next month.

Nothing like some AFV to start the day. Pull out a tooth here

"Only I didn't say 'fudge'..."

2009-09-18T16:40:00.002-04:00

See more funny videos and Funny Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Starts out a little slow, but gets good.

[Today's Big Thing]

Kanye West Disrupts Joint Session of Congress

2009-09-14T15:35:00.005-04:00

Shortly thereafter, Obama was spotted backstage crying.

[Holy Taco]

80s Video Friday: Can't Fight This Feeling

2009-09-11T16:32:00.001-04:00

I'm posting this to celebrate the collective man-gasm that will boil over this weekend as the first Sunday of the NFL season arrives. FUCK. YES. That kind of emotion is summed up best by REO Speedwagon.

During the opening vocals, doesn't Kevin Cronin look like Peggy Olsen from Mad Men?

80s Video Friday: New England, The Patriots and We

2009-09-04T12:25:00.005-04:00

Preseason football is finally over (thank God and did you see Matthew Slater's arm last night? BLEGH!). To celebrate the return of the Pats, I dug up this little ditty.

A few questions and comments that tickled my brain-mush as I watched this:

The stuffed bear hostage cracks me up every time.

"The Patriots and we"?? Who wrote that line? It sounds like olde English. "The Patriots and me" didn't sound better?

I like how they get all of the lyrics out of the way upfront then just play the "NEW ENGLAND! THE PATRIOTS AND WE!" chorus with random shots of overexcited massholes for the remainder of the song.

That guy on the left at the 1:58 mark is waaaay to into this. Relax dude.

Why are all of the players wearing MTV hats?

Has Mike Lynch aged at all in the past 23 years?

If you watched that entire video, good luck getting that song out of your head for the next three days.

Happy Labor Day!

Friggin' Swedes

2009-09-03T10:05:00.008-04:00

First IKEA, now this. Brilliant.

It's so spot on, it sounds exactly like any of the music you'd hear after finishing a game back in the day.

[CREATIVITY]

Teenager Cries Blood, Doctors Freak Out Accordingly

2009-08-31T19:13:00.002-04:00

This kid has to grow up and become the villain in Casino Royale, right?

[CNN.com]

80s Video Friday: Rock You Like a Hurricane

2009-08-28T21:49:00.002-04:00

I tried to find something titled "Rock You Like a Tropical Storm Named Danny" but no such luck.

Brett Favre is an Asshole.

2009-08-24T19:30:00.002-04:00

As evidenced by an inebriated argument this past Friday, I can't stand this latest BrettFavre saga. He comes in figures he can bang out an entire playbook in three days then goes 1-4 for 4 yards in his Minnesota preseason debut. If I was a Vikings fan, I think I'd take a broken beer bottle to my wrist.

Remember this commercial? Even in a scripted shoot he still manages to throw behind his receiver while leading him directly into a puddle. Brett's smiling and having a great time while his high school buddy Jim just got a mouth full of Mississippi swamp water. God, what an asshole.

80s Video Friday: The Final Countdown

2009-08-21T12:34:00.001-04:00

First Fantasy Football Draft of the season this weekend. Football season is almost here!

Barney Frank: Roastmaster

2009-08-19T12:02:00.002-04:00

Amid the desire to have an actual discussion around public policy, it's great to see a politician fire back at these batshit-crazy protesters that don't bring anything meaningful to the discourse.

Massaging Your Pussy

2009-08-18T16:01:00.004-04:00

No, not in that way. Perverts.

(Un)fortunately(?), this is an actual video on how to stroke your cat, dug up and edited by Everything is Terrible.

My favorite part is at 2:35 when the cat wakes up and looks directly at the camera as if to wonder if this documentary is real or imagined. Sadly "Champer-Camper", this is all too real.

Also, why is he the best cat in the United States? Am I missing something? Are there better Afghani cats out there somewhere?

[Warming Glow]
[Everything is Terrible]

Is This Real?

2009-08-13T16:38:00.002-04:00

I keep going back and forth.

In any event, it's good to see Lenny Dykstra (1:15) found work.

80s Video Friday: Sledgehammer

2009-08-07T13:01:00.001-04:00

Holy crap we're having a rough spell at the blog. But fear not! A video with a semen-based intro! And stop-motion animation!

80s Video Friday: The Wizard

2009-07-31T20:58:00.001-04:00

Wizard Staffing in progress!!

(kind of a cop out, but I've been drinking)

Jaws vs. Mr. Ed - SPOILER ALERT: Jaws Wins.

2009-07-30T13:07:00.004-04:00

Been a little slow at the blog lately. Our apologies to all three of our fans. Enjoy this in the meantime.

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Awesome.

2009-07-27T10:38:00.003-04:00

80s Video Friday: I Wanna Go Back

2009-07-24T12:22:00.001-04:00

Pretty much sums up my feelings after returning from kickass vacation to another Goddamn monsoon in Boston.

Throwback Tuesday

2009-07-14T08:23:00.001-04:00

Now let me welcome everybody to the wild, wild west...

Killer Lampshade!

2009-07-08T16:36:00.002-04:00

I think this is just weird enough to scare the shit out of me.

If LA Went This Nuts Over Michael Jackson's Funeral, Imagine What Pennsylvania Will Do for Billy Mays'

2009-07-07T15:17:00.004-04:00

Oh, apparently not that much. Like a funeral should be.

[TMZ]

Throwback Tuesday

2009-07-07T11:48:00.002-04:00

heeeeere we go...

Hockey Team Photo FAIL

2009-07-02T11:40:00.002-04:00

[Holy Taco]

Throwback Tuesday

2009-06-30T14:25:00.000-04:00

girls, girls, girls, girls...

Russia's Gazprom Signs Deal with Nigerian NNPC, Unfortunate Naming Ensues

2009-06-29T11:38:00.004-04:00

Russia's energy giant Gazprom has signed a $2.5bn (£1.53bn) deal with Nigeria's state operated NNPC, to invest in a new joint venture. The new firm, to be called Nigaz, is set to build refineries, pipelines and gas power stations in Nigeria.

Seriously?

Check out some other funny international branding fails here.

[Brand Republic]

Billy Mays: 1958 - 2009

2009-06-28T12:28:00.004-04:00

Another one!?! Enough already!

[WBZ Radio]

80s Video Friday: Thriller

2009-06-26T10:47:00.003-04:00

It's only appropriate to dedicate this week's 80s Video Friday to The Greatest Music Video Ever Made. And let's face it, no music video will top this, ever. It was groundbreaking when it came out and it also features choreographed zombies. Do you know how hard it is to get zombies to do anything else besides aimlessly meander around in search of brains?

Michael Jackson: 1958 - 2009

2009-06-25T18:16:00.003-04:00

TMZ is reporting pop icon Michael Jackson has died from cardiac arrest.

Developing....

UPDATE: Yep. Sonofabitch. Him and Farrah. What a shitty Thursday.

[TMZ]

Headline + Picture = Ridiculous

2009-06-24T16:52:00.002-04:00

I won't give it away.

Just click through and find out on your own.

[Time.com]

Insane.

2009-06-24T12:32:00.003-04:00

Shaq wants to play this dude in horse for $1,000. He might as well write him a check now.

Air France Flight 447 or Oceanic Flight 815?

2009-06-24T10:51:00.003-04:00

Does this screenshot look familiar? Apparently not to a Bolivian TV station or Dutch radio station who thought these pics from ABC's LOST were actual pictures from the Air France Flight 447 tragedy earlier this month. C'mon guys.

[Gawker]

Throwback Tuesday (on Wednesday)

2009-06-24T09:51:00.001-04:00

Here comes the hotstepper...

We Talkin' About Practice?

2009-06-23T11:39:00.003-04:00

And just when I thought this couldn't get any better, I made it to the 3:18 mark.

This could easily crack the iTunes top 10.

[Deadspin]

Best Detention Slip Ever

2009-06-23T10:40:00.005-04:00

WTF: Whale Man

2009-06-22T10:50:00.002-04:00

I think this is funny...but I'm not sure.

80s Video Friday: In the Air Tonight

2009-06-19T12:23:00.003-04:00

In honor of The Hangover (if you haven’t seen that movie yet, go this weekend, seriously), I’d like to dedicate this week’s 80s Video Friday to a song featured in the movie, Phil Collins’ In the Air Tonight.

What’s great about this song is how closely it’s tied to the 80’s pastel-laden hit series Miami Vice. The song was originally used for the pilot episode, one of the first instances a hit song was featured in a network television series. After watching that, I totally want to rent a black Ferrari and drive around South Beach at 4:00am (shotgun-toting sidekick optional).

And while we’re on the topic of Miami Vice, how disappointing was the recent remake a few years ago? From the trailer alone, it seemed like it would be a killer movie but then when you actually sat down and watched it? Ugh. “Ok, Michael Mann, I get it, Miami has some nice skylines. Please let’s get on with the movie already.” No lie, I fell asleep twice (twice!) during that goddamn movie.

This Headline is real: Kellogg Adds Honey To Corn Flakes To Attract Hispanics

2009-06-19T12:13:00.002-04:00

BrandWeek - The Kellogg Co. is adding a little honey to Corn Flakes to cement its popularity among Hispanic consumers as well as the over-55 crowd. Corn Flakes with a Touch of Honey, which has adds 100 percent natural honey to the 100-year old cereal, is hitting shelves this month.

Um, since when did Hispanic people start falling for the same tricks as bees?

Greg Brady is Gangsta

2009-06-18T11:23:00.001-04:00

OH NO!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!

2009-06-18T09:28:00.004-04:00

YOUTUBE's dead! YOUTUBE's dead! Run for your lives!

...and His Dance Moves Still Rock

2009-06-17T15:32:00.000-04:00

This Kid is Still Awesome

2009-06-17T09:35:00.001-04:00

This Post Writes Itself

2009-06-16T17:55:00.004-04:00

Yahoo News - British Airways is asking thousands of its staff to work for free for up to four weeks, spokeswoman Kirsten Millard said Tuesday.
In an e-mail to all its staff, the airline offered workers between one and four weeks of unpaid leave -- but with the option to work during this period.

Okay, like I can see a company being like "you either work for free, or you lose your job." You know what? I can respect that. It's like saying, "you don't like it? Fine, see ya." That takes nuts. But I'm not quite sure what's up with this business decision. "The option to work"? WHAT?! You either take a 4 week unpaid vacation and have a job at the end, or you can work for free. Interesting to learn that a company who comes up with this great idea is in financial difficulties.

Long Island Secession - For or Against?

2009-06-16T17:16:00.006-04:00

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Long Island Wants to Secede

thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Jason Jones in Iran

After thinking about it, I don't know if I'm in favor or against this movement. It's such a cultural centerpiece to the greater New York metropolitan area, it really deserves to be its own state.

Can it take New Jersey while it's at it? Combined they could create a land where tanning parlors and car stereo dealers stretch as far as the eye can see. They'd have to incorporate a tribal tattoo somewhere on their state flag, right?

We know Revere would start to thin out; it'd be like douchebag manifest destiny.

[Daily Show]
[Barstool Sports]

The Iron Shiek Hates Everybody

2009-06-16T10:59:00.004-04:00

This is an old interview, but that doesn't mean its not 5:43 of pure gold.

"You no-good mwother-fuhker piece of shit!"

Throwback Tuesday

2009-06-16T09:26:00.002-04:00

Can you dig it? ... Can y'all dig it?

Tag Team - Whoomp There It Is
by louis-philippe93

Carrots Anyone?

2009-06-15T11:49:00.001-04:00

Who wants to ride on the carrot highway with me?

-everythingisterrible

80s Video Friday: High Enough

2009-06-12T11:46:00.005-04:00

High Enough - Damn Yankees

Now, I don't have any hard evidence, but I wouldn't be surprised if Ted Nugent has bow-hunted actual humans before. Kinda like the movie Hard Target.

3DWaB PSA: Digital TV Conversion

2009-06-12T08:49:00.003-04:00

A friendly reminder from 3DWaB that all TVs need to now be run from a digital signal. If you're still using analog, follow this simple video for help.

Idiots Discover Yahoo! Answers, Hilarity Ensues

2009-06-11T16:23:00.005-04:00

This is a mix of hilarious to just downright disturbing.

The 20 Most Inappropriately Hilarious Yahoo! Answers Questions

Thanks to Julianelle

[nextround]

Common Sense to People of Sierra Leone: "Get the hell out of Sierra Leone!"

2009-06-11T14:51:00.002-04:00

FREETOWN (Reuters) - Police in Sierra Leone have called in the army and fire brigade to try to take back control of a police station which has been overrun by hundreds of venomous snakes. Officers and residents wanting to report crimes have grown too afraid to come to the building... Paramilitary police were drafted in to protect villagers in Bo from wild bush cows after a farmer was gored to death a few years ago, while rampaging elephants killed eight people and chased 600 from their homes in the east not long before that.

There's this old saying that goes "when your police station has been overrun by snakes, wild bush cows start goring people to death, and wild rampaging elephants kill more than seven people and drive over 599 people from their homes, it's time to ...." shit, how does that saying end? Oh yea, "RUN FOR YOUR FUCKING LIFE!"

Funny time to be a criminal in Sierra Leone, right? I mean, if you're going to commit a crime, I'd think that "Police Station Overrun by Snakes" is probably right up there with "Food Poisoning at the Policeman's Ball" as the best time to do so.

Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals for America After Visiting Denny's

2009-06-10T11:20:00.005-04:00

Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's

I agree. Let's manage expectations a bit.

[The Onion]

Throwback Tuesday

2009-06-09T17:23:00.000-04:00

this ain't no fuckin motion picture...

Tweeting Too Hard

2009-06-08T12:14:00.007-04:00

Q: Do you hate Twitter?
Q: Do you hate people that can't live without Twitter?
Q: Do you hate flat-out douchebags?

A: You'll love this.

http://tweetingtoohard.com/

Thanks to Justin

David Carradine: 1936 - 2009

2009-06-04T11:40:00.003-04:00

Sad news to hear the passing of David Carradine who absolutely stole the show in Kill Bill Vol. 2. To pay homage to the late Kung Fu star, here's a video of David Carradine playing with a garden hose.

My Birthday is in April...

2009-06-04T09:28:00.003-04:00

Oak via Thrillist Boston

PS3 Motion Controler vs. Microsoft's Project Natal

2009-06-03T11:42:00.004-04:00

Gotta give the edge here to PS3 on the grounds that it was live-action use.

Wii is totally screwed either way.

[Engadget]
[Joystiq]

Dog sniffs out 35,000 pirated DVDs, assumedly licks crotch afterwards

2009-06-03T10:47:00.005-04:00

KUALA LUMPUR (AFP) – A DVD-sniffing anti-piracy dog named Paddy has uncovered a huge cache of 35,000 discs in Malaysian warehouses, many destined for export to Singapore, industry officials said on Wednesday.
The black Labrador helped enforcement officials who carried out raids last week in southern Johor state which neighbours Singapore, the Motion Picture Association (MPA) said in a statement.

The raids carried out by officials from the MPA and Malaysia's trade and consumer affairs ministry shut down six warehouses storing pirated products, it said.
The MPA said just-released titles such as "Terminator Salvation", "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian", "Angels and Demons" and "Star Trek" were among the movies seized.
"This is a clear signal to the pirates that we will not waver in our efforts to shut them down," said Mohamad Roslan Mahayudin, director-general of enforcement with the Malaysian ministry.

"We are glad to hear that Paddy?s skills are being put to good use against the large, organised network of pirates involved in exporting illegal pirated DVDs to Singapore," said Mike Ellis, the MPA's Asia-Pacific managing director.

Wait, what? A dog sniffed out DVDs? What the hell do DVDs smell like? Drugs ok, bombs, yea sure, but DVDs? As part of my blogging research, I sniffed a few DVDs and I'll be perfectly honest, it smells pretty similar to a plastic ruler I have at my desk, with a slight hint of the plastic used in my roladex.

Here's the bigger question here; in the pirate world, how much street cred do movie pirates have? I have to imagine they're on the lower end of the spectrum. They're like the kids that smoke cigarettes in high school to the Somali jocks on the high seas - sort of cool because they're breaking the law, but still not scoring prom queen tail like cargo ships.

Blonde Bombshell Party! Who Wants Fake Tits?

2009-06-03T09:27:00.008-04:00

In case you can't read it above "The hottest blonde in the audience wins free breast implants from Dr. Russo"

They are not even trying to hide the sleaze factor here. I'm fielding a few bets: 1)Over/under on the guy/girl ratio? 2) Winner ends up doing porn within the next 3 years.

The 13,153,706th Most Popular Website in the World Celebrates its 300th Post!!!

2009-06-02T15:12:00.007-04:00

World Health Organization thinking of moving Swine Flu to 'Pandemic' level

2009-06-02T14:26:00.003-04:00

(CNN) -- The World Health Organization announced Tuesday it is still considering increasing its pandemic alert level to phase 6 because of growing worldwide cases of the H1N1 virus, or swine flu.

"Globally, we are at phase 5, but we are nearing phase 6," said Dr. Keiji Fukuda, WHO's Assistant Director General. "As this continues to spread internationally, some countries are moving from isolated to sustained community spread."

Wait, the swine flu is still around? Hey, World Health Organization, don't you know that with cable and the Internet, the 24-hour news cycle and increased sensationalism in the news, you can't go and pull this 'we're thinking of increasing its pandemic level' shit 3 weeks after you're a top story! It just SCREAMS attention whore. Either cure that shit, or shut your faces. You had your 15 minutes, now move over so we can hear about what's happening with John & Kate, Octomom, Susan Boyle, and who got voted off of "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here" last night.

Throwback Tuesday

2009-06-02T11:53:00.001-04:00

somethin' to roll to, somethin' to stroll to...

RunPee.com = Genius

2009-06-01T14:04:00.004-04:00

Perfectly time your next movie theater bathroom run. This is something that actually makes sense to have on your phone.

And the site has a sense of humor. For the Hannah Montana movie: "Go home right after the previews and pee for as long as you please in the comfort of your own home. You wont miss anything."

Another "I should have thought of that" ideas...

80s Video Friday: Separate Ways

2009-05-29T13:13:00.005-04:00

Journey - Separate Ways

Did somebody mention imaginary instruments?

Man loses guitar, mind

2009-05-29T11:52:00.005-04:00

It's the end of May in Boston which means it's time for the Sox to hit their stride, the sidewalks to fill with skirts, shorts, skorts, flip flops and the ever-beloved halter top. It's also time for everyone's favorite Jager/Budweiser/Journey/Bon Jovi induced pasttime; the air guitar. And since it's the end of May it can mean only 1 thing, the National Air Guitar Championship at The Paradise.

Not a good singing voice? Fuck it. Can't play a lick of guitar? Who gives a shit. Love attention and have a feeling that everyone wants to rock the ef out and have their perverbial faces melted off? Bring it on sucka. Just dress up like an asshole, and air guitar away.

It's official. I don't "get" teenagers.

2009-05-27T17:25:00.003-04:00

American teenagers sent and received an average of 2,272 text messages per month in the fourth quarter of 2008, according to the Nielsen Company — almost 80 messages a day, more than double the average of a year earlier.

Not only is my mind blown, but I think my reaction to this news means i'm officially old. I have gotta believe that teenage girls skew this number higher, so what are they sending? 3500 a month?

Scripps Spelling Bee Champion Probably Able to Spell "Uncomfortable" Too

2009-05-26T21:35:00.005-04:00

Scombridae? Scombridae? Scombridae??

2009 Scripps National Spelling Bee - Thursday 10:00am on ESPN2. Set your DVR.

Throwback Tuesday

2009-05-26T21:13:00.000-04:00

Sooo, sooooo, sooooooo.......

80s Video Friday: Goodnight Saigon

2009-05-22T15:26:00.006-04:00

Goodnight Saigon - Billy Joel

With Memorial Day on Monday, this song just felt right. Thanks to all the troops.

(I also feel like I'd be doing an incredible disservice if I didn't post this in conjunction with Will Ferrell's stirring rendition last week on SNL. Great episode across the board, by the way.)

Throwback Tuesday

2009-05-19T00:29:00.006-04:00

Will everybody please just let the boys be boys? Thank you.

Onyx - Slam
by bullback

Imagine sitting down to your morning coffee, turning on your computer and enjoying the morning newspaper...

2009-05-14T16:19:00.001-04:00

When it all started to go downhill for the newspaper industry. The first online news... nearly 30 years ago.

Throwback Tuesday

2009-05-12T08:56:00.001-04:00

Let me conversate, better yet regulate...

This dj Warren G
by Ronaldo33310

Hippo Makes Run at Cute Baby Animal Crown

2009-05-11T14:46:00.004-04:00

Watch out Koalas - this Hippo means business.

Also, watch out baby hippo. You're destined to have a huge ass.

80s Video Friday: Treat Your Mother Right

2009-05-08T15:36:00.002-04:00

In honor of all the mothers out there this weekend.

Archdiocese Youth Commission Logo FAIL

2009-05-06T16:05:00.004-04:00

On some occasions, logos are more than marks of failure or malfeasance; sometimes they unintentionally illustrate the foibles or folly of a company or institution all too vividly. Take the Archdiocesan Youth Commission logo, designed three decades before the sex abuse scandal broke out in the Catholic Church. The unfortunate pictorial relationship between the priest and the child, given our collective awareness in 2009, suggests a much too ironic interpretation. It’s a challenge to see what this positive/negative image once suggested, a guardian protecting the innocent, since the benevolence of its subject matter is no longer black and white. When a good design signifies bad deeds, the result is, well, a really unfortunate logo.

Jesus.

[AIGA]

Throwback Tuesday

2009-05-05T23:12:00.001-04:00

Alickyboomboomdown...

Moments Later, This Man Went Completely Blind

2009-05-04T21:31:00.006-04:00

/slow clap

(Click the image for a larger view)

[Holy Taco]

Messing with your Mind

2009-05-04T14:11:00.003-04:00

Look at this picture. Now, move about 15 feet away from your computer. Bam!

Do you have Swine Flu?

2009-05-04T10:45:00.002-04:00

http://doihavetheswineflu.com/

Meet Rudy - The Best Car Saleman EVER

2009-05-01T17:32:00.004-04:00

How could you NOT buy a car from this dude?

80s Video Friday: No Easy Way Out

2009-05-01T16:22:00.006-04:00

Robert Tepper - No Easy Way Out -

The parallels between Rocky and the Celtics are pretty hard to ignore.

The champion with one last thing to prove against a young upstart. Having already suffered two crippling losses (Mick = KG, Appolo = Powe), the champion is looking deep inside to pull off one last big win (which actually won't be the last big win since there are still 2 more sequels and 3 more playoff rounds, but whatever). It's reached a critical mass and all that's left is the main event (just as soon as he comes back from a deeply reflective drive in a 1980's Lamborghini and shifting though the gears 17 times).

Side note: Can you believe that there isn't an official music video for Paul Engemann's Push It To the Limit from Scarface or Joe Espisito's You're The Best Around from Karate Kid?? Bullshit.

Cleveland Rocks!

2009-05-01T16:20:00.002-04:00

So true.

Are those cantaloupes in your arms, or are you just happy to see me?

2009-04-29T11:09:00.006-04:00

{Insert vomit noise}

I guess this guy is famous and has a few documentaries made about him, etc... I just discovered him today. And i'm pretty sure his arm is bigger than Lindsay Lohan. Gross.